Texts From Last Night: Pickford Edition
by SlickNickShady
Summary: One Shot. Texts from Pickford citizens past and present. And a musical act that hit Pickford a few times.
1. Chapter 1

Texts From Last Night: Pickford Edition

**Neil Hackett:** _(905)_ I've had it. I'm camping outside of Veronica's house. I need physical affection.

**Keely Teslow:** _(905)_ I love my Philly Willy.

**Mandy Teslow:** _(905)_ Anybody know how to get permanent marker off the table? I have a smitten daughter in the house as you all know.

**Pim Diffy: **_(905) _I need to break something.

**Phil Diffy:** _(905)_ Going to see my Keel. It's been one whole hour since I have seen my pepper.

**Lloyd Diffy: **_(905) _Miss Levy called and told me her cousin at Pickford Records wants me to do a Folk record. Can't wait to tell Barb and the kids.

**Curtis: **_(905) _Bunaka!

**Barb Diffy: **_(905) _Who gave Curtis a cell phone?

**Li'l Danny Dawkins:** _(905)_ Should I or should I not take this DJ job? They want me to DJ while they have sex. I'm conflicted.

**Bradley Benjamin Farmer III:** _(310)_ I wonder whatever happened to that girl Pim? She never writes. She never calls.

**Tia:** _(310)_ My piercing makes the metal detector go off. How am I supposed to remove it in front of airport security? Keely was right. I should have never got this piercing there.

**Seth Wosmer:** _(905)_ I miss Tia. When I become rich she will be mine.

**Via:** _(905)_ I don't even want to know how or why Owens underwear is in the teachers lounge

**Owen:** _(905)_ Um, I left my underwear in the teachers lounge last week. I couldn't find them, so yea.

**Bruno:** _(905)_ I just copped a feel on an undercover officer. FML.

**Grace:** _(905)_ I was making out with my boyfriend Grady and in the middle he stopped and offered to make me a grilled cheese sandwich.

**Grady Spaggett:** _(905)_ Note to self. I need a grilled cheese intervention.

**Kyle Speckle:** _(905)_ Petunia said "It's not you, It's me". Anybody know what that means? I have not seen her since.

**Marla Beauregarde:**_ (905)_ That harlot Ms. Teslow is the one who sabotaged my luring of Phil Diffy.

**Coach Buchinsky**: _(905)_ I went up to a girl and she slapped me. She said I was using a fake accent.

**Adelaide Messerschmitt:** _(905)_ _My heart is like a mob informant, and she was the East River._

**Mr. Weatherwax:** _(905)_ I guess the bank didn't screw up, i did spend 150$ at McDonalds last week.

**Mayor Johnny Da Luca:** _(905)_ Turns out vomit takes off spray tan. No one said trying to get votes would be easy.

**Nacho Thalhiemer:** _(905)_ I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, table, and toilets so that everyone who visits can have a snack when they wake up.

**Lady X:** _(702)_ My newest album hasn't sold well and I think I'm going to get drunk and maybe buy a few cat's…

**Cornelius Bodrey:** _(905)_ The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a vibrator. Never experienced something like this in Pickford before.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: The first five were submitted to me by CraftyNotepad. The next four were submitted by James888. ****If you would like to contribute to this chapter with characters I have not done. Feel free to submit them to me and i'll add them here.**

Texts From Last Night: Pickford Edition (Continued)

**Jerry:** _(905)_ Anyone know where I can apply for free lunches?

**Simon Buber:** _(905)_ Okay, Pim. I'll remove the "egg" from the "nest," but you owe me big time.

**Alice Da Luca:** _(905)_ Yes, Daddy, actually I do know someone who'd be perfect in the fair's tomato dunk tank.

**Myron:** _(905)_ I'm looking for a rabbit sitter for about 60 to 90 days. Don't ask.

**Helka:** _(905)_ You put flyers under windshields, my uncle give you good deal on flat screen. Five percent off!

**Veronica:** _(905) _He didn't believe me when i said i got a restraining order. Won't Neil Hackett be surprised when the police pick him up in 5 minutes.

**Mr. Messerschmidt:** _(905)_ Bettina. All of my students failed another assignment. I actually thought about smiling.

**Tia:** _(310)_ Are you through making moon eyes at Phil. There a clothing sale at the Mall in a hour.

**Keely:** _(905)_ I am not making moon eyes at Phil! Plus i'm already there picking out the clothes. I'm going to buy when the sale starts. Where are you?


End file.
